What is your EI?

Emotionally intelligent (EI) people rock! Success is infatuated with EI people because they are resilient, optimistic, and they could fill a small stadium with their friends. Of course the opposite is true for the emotionally deprived. There is a lot of information out there about the importance of emotional intelligence, but we’re so focused on multiplication tables, we don’t have time to deal with our emotions. Isn’t that why we invented emoji’s? Emotional intelligence generally means you can manage your own emotions and also the emotions of others. Hot diggity dog! Now that’s what I call asick skill set. We all know people who have the EI thing down but I wanted to know what a family with high EI would look like? So I did a little research and this is what I learned!

Families with high EI make a lot of eye contact, but have low cell phone usage, and shocking as that might sound its worth a try. Like The Waltons, I believe high EI families would have practices that exude love and support, like the “Good night, John boy,” routine at the end of the show. Maybe you would hear compliments instead of put downs. I think there would be minimal interruptions, or spouts of anger, and very little drama. Conversations would focus on solving problems rather than creating new ones, feedback would be positive, and humor would trump ridicule almost every time. It’s kind of alarming when you realize this is all learned behavior. We don’t sit down and run practice drills on emotional intelligence, like we do when we teach manners, or phone etiquette, “You have reached the Oreglia’s, Cheryl speaking, may I ask who is calling?” 

I’ve come to believe EI is practiced daily in families whether they know it or not. It is the ocean you swim in and it is impossible to avoid the characteristics of the saline water. EI is modeled by the adults and emulated by the children. Have you ever watched children at play? It is hysterical how they mimic family behaviors, downright embarrassing at times, especially when your two year old belts out, “Damn it all, I’m not going to say this twice.” If I had known I was setting my children up for success or failure based on the EI in the home I would have fed my kids empathy instead of pop tarts.

This is one kind of intelligence you don’t have to memorize to improve. I wonder what the boys would do if I shouted, “Good night Dante, Good night Tony,” from my bed tonight? I know what you’re thinking and it’s not funny! Get out there and raise your EI acumen, that alone could rock your world, and who knows when you’ll need a stadium full of friends.

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Dump your thoughts on EI in the comments! No emoji’s!


Leave a Comment

  1. We have meetings about this at work, especially upper management, and how we can model high EQ in the workplace. It is interesting to roll this back to the family of origin. People come to work pre-wired and this is the cause of much of the drama.


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