Spilling the Tea

(Millennial Trigger warning: content might be too revealing, but FOMO is greater, so never mind.)

Swipe up
if you love Millennials.

To understand this new generation, you have to start with the Baby Boomers (BB), used to describe people born between 1946 and 1964. Following World War II, the troops returned home, thankful to have survived the savagery of combat, they decided to “make love, not war.” Both North America and Europe experienced an unusual spike in birth rates. Also known as adulting by the Millennial crowd.

According to a variety of sources, Millennials were born somewhere between 1980 and 2000, the offspring of the BB generation, and ready or not, they’re coming of age. After gorging on prosperity for decades, BB’s have a touch of indigestion, and our children are not exactly oozing with empathy. So salty, (moody, sullen, glum). As the BB’s are aging up, we find ourselves in need of coping skills, or at least a better understanding of the generation we’ve created. So I’m throwing a little shade on our beloved, beleaguered, besotted Millennials.

Millennials are the first generation raised with cell phones, weaned on social media, and obsessed with reality television. This might explain their distinctive energy evinced in creative tattoos, unusual piercings, logo t-shirts, selfie takers ad nauseam, an infatuation with cats, metallic shoes, dating apps, and brunch. I believe these things are referred to as fire by Millennials. According to Jean Twenge, millennials are “tolerant, confident, open-minded, and ambitious, but also disengaged, narcissistic, distrustful, and anxious.” So on fleek (meaning accurate, on-point, nailed it). 

I refer to this phenomenal generation as an encounter of the forth kind – as in abduction – of the work force, guest rooms, and summer homes. 

Let’s consider the job market or lack there of, BB’s are not only living longer, but they’re much healthier then previous generations, and this has caused a gridlock in the labor force. These young college graduates, “having faithfully followed the American path of hard work and achievement, might now find themselves in a position akin to a homeowner with negative equity – in possession of an asset that is worth much less than what is owed,” claims Tolentino. #me (image, perspective, quote that accurately reflects a Millennial)

We raised our children to take our place in the workforce, but now we’re hesitant to leave, there’s a bit of a traffic jam in Corporate America. Crystal Kadakia says, “Instead of complaining about adapting for millennials, it’s imperative for leaders and managers to acknowledge the role of millennial behavior as an indication of the needs of the modern workplace to attract, leverage, and retain modern talent.” They are challenging the status quo, not only technological trail-blazers, but innovative risk-takers, and they’re slaying it (outstanding work). 

The basic cost of housing in hot job markets is currently astronomical, forcing a number of Millennials to take shelter in their parent’s guest rooms. Don’t worry, they bounce (frequent change of location). I’m sure you’ve heard the jokes, “if I had a dollar for every time a Boomer complained about my generation, I would have enough money to buy a house in the market they ruined.” The struggle is real. 

This is creating a unique dynamic in households across America as both parent and child living under the same roof have keen interests in fine wines, strategic eating (vegan, gluten free, organic), and high quality bedding. It appears the wine cellar, pantry, and linen closet are no longer organizational challenges but opportunities to connect. Goals AF (highly desired goals). 

My husband recently invested in a doorbell camera. Shady I know, but since we order most of our household supplies on-line, we’re worried about security when we’re away. This results in a TMI situation as our children’s comings and goings are now time stamped. Every time someone triggers the front door camera our cell phones release a simultaneous chime, this has been challenging due to midnight pizza deliveries, and impromptu gatherings at the homestead. Our millennial guests have taken to waving at the doorbell cam as they come and go. Nice try hunty (demeaning endearment). 

We have five millennial children who all enjoy the perks of a family lake house. They grid out the calendar every season reserving time for friends-givings, annual get-togethers, reunions, bachelorette weekends, etc. #thirstymuch (a strong preference or desire)

Below are six things about millennials that BB owners (not to be confused with Bed and Breakfast) should keep in mind:

1. Pets are part of the package. We have tried to reduce the wear and tear on the lake house by denying hospitality to unrelated pets. Nice try. The first Instagram posting or Snapchat will inevitably portray a strange dog resting on my couch, drinking water out of a rare crystal serving bowl, or marking territory on the wicker furniture in the lanai. “Millennials, instead of a danger, are really a reflection of the society in which they grew up in, and in which all of us now live,” says Crystal Kadakia. Then why aren’t pet rocks making a comeback? YAAAAS (strongly agree).

2. Early to rise does not apply to millennials, “I can’t even deal,” says M when presented with coffee at eight in the morning. This generation plays hard, stays up late, and catches up on the backside of the day. It’s not all bad, staying up late allows for star gazing, card games, beer pong, skyping with chums around the world, and binge watching Netflix originals. I believe they call it chilling?

3. They like to break the internet so to speak. Translation, basic cable is not okay. Millennials require high speed internet wherever they might land because they come with cell phones, laptops, and gaming supplies. “We thrive when we are pulled by the future, not pushed by the past,” says Crystal Kadakia. They are so comfortable (dependent) with technology it would never occur to millennials to vacation in a place without wifi. The JOMO, “the joy of missing out,” is not happening. 

4. Happy hour is not limited to the hours between 4 and 6 in the evening. Millennials might be accomplished drinkers, but they know their limits (sometimes), and enjoy relaxing in a semi-numbed state while on vacation. They call it lit. Not to worry, unlike the BB’s, this generation grew up with Uber and Lyft, they do not drink and drive. #Turntup (good-times, alcohol is usually involved)

5. Cussing will happen, because duh, it might devalue the neighbors properties, and you might get a call during breakfast from said neighbor complaining about one of the youthful visitors appropriately named “fuck you.” In defense of my millennials and their unique guests, this is not a retirement community, language characteristics have changed, and we’ll have to stop wincing at their flowery vocabulary. Sorry not sorry (unapologetic). 

6. Millennials are comfortable with intergenerational gatherings, if not, they’ll just ask you to swerve, or stay in your lane. It might surprise you, but Millennials are as likely to invite their parents on a friends weekend as they are their grandparents, said no one ever. Or maybe they’re just down with a free dinner, expensive wines, and someone to clean-up and the end of the stay. Hundo P (agree 100 percent). 

BB’s consider yourself woke (enlightened).

Swipe up if you love Millennials!

“Swipe up” explained by Ellen.

“Two roads diverged in the woods, the millennials took the one less tweeted about, and that has made all the difference.”

I’m Living in the Gap, with my millennial children, stop in anytime, “fuck you’s,” always welcome. 
Notes to self: A man and his wife (BB’s) were sitting in the living room discussing a living will. “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer. TeeHeHe.


Leave a Comment

  1. That's hilarious! I'm currently baby sitting my grand dog along with my two little dogs. My kids are pretty cool, though, and in many ways, much smarter in their life decisions than I ever was. LOL


  2. To the unknown \”Fiery Grandma\” and boomer sister, thanks for stopping in, and taking the time to comment. When I started \”investigating\” or more accurately stalking Millennial bloggers for information I was surprised how the material was a perfect fit for most of my kids. What a great generation we have the privilege of accompanying into the future.


  3. Hi Rebecca! I agree, our Millennials are slaying it! They have such a different road map to follow but I am confident they will bring the solutions we need to mend the failing structures in our society. Enjoy your grand doggie! Thanks for stopping by Living in the Gap!


  4. Thank you for defending the Millenials! I am a Millenial who has been arguing the job point since I entered the work force. I am lucky enough to have a full time job, but I can’t fault others who are stuck part time because there are no openings. FantasyWordCraft.wordpress.com


  5. OMG – You did it! I'm so pleased and charmed by your comment Sue. I felt it my duty to keep my fellow BB's informed about Millennial tendencies, especially since we are outnumbered, and relatively uninformed. I have to say I'm enormously pleased that \”fuck you\” was invited to so many Kono Tayee events, must have something to do with good karma, because the \”struggle is real,\” and the new neighbors are so on fleek! #Sacrifices


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s