Let’s face it, I’m not good at weathering storms, dealing with attacks on multiple fronts, or saying “no,” especially when it comes to just about anyone. Which means I end up being no good to anyone especially myself. I think it’s time to rethink my exit strategies.
It is shockingly obvious I am not fluent in sign language ~ I’d rather you speak slowly and perspicuously.
2. Sickness – Continual visits to the doctor, resistant infections, lots of snot, sleeping in a lounge chair two or more nights in a row? You find your spouse snoring under a mermaid comforter in the guest room because your seventeenth Ricola is not working. Do you NyQuil and chill more than twice a week? Check the Box!
3. Clumsy – Tripping over curbs, dogs, babies, toys, and footstools? Slicing and dicing your delicate appendages? Attempts at emptying the dishwasher are a catastrophic loss? No one wants to play darts with you? Check the Box!
4. Confused – Unclear about why you entered or left a room? Can’t remember the date, the time, what the president is tweeting about? Why you gave up wine? The name of your firstborn? Which of the 5 remotes turns on the television. Check the Box!
5. Emotional – Do Frigidaire commercials make you cry? Did you burst into tears when you burnt the last piece of toast? When someone said, “Happy Mother’s Day,” did you sob uncontrollably in the lobby? Did you have a total melt-down while standing in line at the DMV? It happens. Check the Box!
6. Eye Twitches – Do you have spastic eye twitches that are especially active when trying to maintain eye contact with your boss? Have you considered skin colored duct tape as a viable solution to resolving the twitch? Would you rather confess to a botched face lift than admit you’re overextended? Check the Box!
7. Temporary Tourette’s – Have you said something out of character lately? Used vocabulary that would make Gordon Ramsey blush? Didn’t realize you were verbalizing your thoughts on salvation in a crowded elevator. Check the Box!
8. Weight Change – If you have fluctuated one ounce, Check the Box!
9. Pimples – This really seals the deal, if one red, flaming, pustule appears anywhere on your face, check the damn box!
10. Goggling a Therapist – This is not a red flag, this is the white flag, and yes I’ll take the first available appointment. Check the Box!
“Innovation is saying no to a thousand things” Steve Jobs
“This is not compatible with my religious views but I will pray for you.”
“I can not possibly take on… but this is what I can do.”
“Not today and tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”
“I believe there is someone more qualified for this job.”
“No, I’m staying home to work on my soap sculpture.”
“I would love to but I can’t be separated from my therapy alligator and she’s not well trained.”
“We must say “no” to what, in our heart, we don’t want. We must say “no” to doing things out of obligation, thereby cheating those important to us of the purest expression of our love. We must say “no” to treating ourselves, our health, our needs as not as important as someone else’s. We must say “no.” ― Suzette R. Hinton
“Until you learn how to confidently say NO to so many things, you shall always say YES to so many things. The real summary of a regretful life is a life that failed to balance YES and NO. Yes! A life that failed to recognize when to courageously say NO and when to confidently say YES!” Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
Anecdotes:
- Yes to new pajamas.
- No to a garage sale.
- Yes to yoga.
- No to restructuring your filing system.
- The early bird might catch the worm but that only matters if you like to fish.
Living in the Gap 