It’s April’s Fools Day, happens every year on the first of April, and in addition to all this foolery, it’s my husbands 60th birthday. Happy Birthday Larry.
Seth Godin says fooling has become a business model, and so now, every day is April Fool’s Day. Something to consider…
Let me began by saying I’m not a fan of COVID-19 especially with all it’s concomitant obstacles. It’s like jumping hurdles just to get into a grocery, only to find the shelves are empty, and you have to touch a sticky keypad so you can bring home five more cans of split pea soup, that you didn’t want, but felt desperate to grab something.
What is wrong with me? [That’s rhetorical Looney]
Not to mention that I’m spending way too much time with my spouse, I think we’re going on thirty-six years, no wait, that’s how long we’ve been lawfully wed. I’m having trouble remembering what day it is, let alone how long we’ve been sheltering in place, it’s been a REALLY long time, and my fear is it might never end?
I’m talking about the quarantine, not my marriage, try and keep up people.
Not that I’m complaining. Much.
We’re a complicated species are we not? All this togetherness can not be what God intended, but here we are, sheltering in place till Corona do us part. Alain de Botton says, “the emotionally intelligent person knows that they will only ever be mentally healthy in a few areas and at certain moments, but is committed to fathoming their inadequacies and warning others of them in good time, with apology and charm.” Sometimes we forget the apology and charm are just as important as the misdeed.
I’m only keeping it together because I have a seriously loving sister, loyal dog, devoted man, brilliant children, a fierce group of friends – and really strong coffee.” If that sounds needy, so be it.
Something you might not know about me, I’ve been accused of obstinance, I prefer to call it dedication, but either way I’m ridiculed daily for carrying an open mug of coffee? It accompanies me wherever I go, when I putter around the house, on my drive to work BC (Before Corona), even strolling across campus. It’s a sacred practice, I use my mug to hail people, I call it my flagon salutation, and I think it’s cute.
I don’t have many superstitions, but I always travel with my coffee, it’s my emotional support plan. Please try not to judge that which you do not understand.
People say, “how do you do that without spilling?”
“It’s my gift,” I say.
David Letterman claims, “if it wasn’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” #truth
But the truth is I do spill, part of the reason my husband insisted I order a rather ugly brown interior for my car, so the spills would be less noticeable.
I’ll only admit this to you, he was right!
I encounter bumps in the road, and when that happens the contents in my mug spills out, it’s physics, not talent.
I think we’re all like open mugs, when we get bumped, that which we are full of spills out.
The system is infallible, because you can’t anticipate turbulence, or curb your enthusiastic response, be it kind or foul, your truth is ruthlessly revealed.
This is what’s known as spilling the beans.
You know people who completely lose their shit when encountering obstacles because that is what they are full of.
Glennon Doyle says, getting bumped is inevitable, if we want to change what spills out of us, we have to work to change what inside of us.
I’ve been hanging out with myself for decades, and what spills out when I encounter an impediment is always revealing, and worthy of my continual care.
I’ve been observing Larry and I as if we were lab rats, placed in an inescapable maze, because that is the reality with which I am presented.
Here’s what I have noticed about me and my beloved:
- I talk to figure things out.
- Larry does not.
- I get on the phone with friends and we talk about our feelings.
- Larry gets on the phone and he talks about sports, the news, and working out?
- I eat when I’m bored.
- Larry walks the dog when he’s bored (we’ll not discuss who is and who is not gaining weight).
- I read books.
- Larry reads the newspaper (several of them).
- I enjoy the quiet.
- Larry likes the television on, even when he’s not watching.
- I’m sensitive.
- Larry’s often confused about my sensitivity?
- I’m tidy.
- Larry is not tidy.
- I’m perfectly happy spending the day thinking, reading, and writing.
- Larry is not happy unless he has a project in the works.
- I’m not shaving my legs while in quarantine.
- Larry’s not shaving his beard while in quarantine – he calls it his Corona Beard (his is more socially acceptable and I don’t care).
- I like to watch movies.
- Larry likes to watch series (guess what, we’re watching Tiger King).
I could go on and on, but you get the general idea, we’re different. Maybe that’s why it works? And I have observed how we both like to lounge in our pajamas, sipping coffee late into the morning, reading, sharing some scrambled eggs, and crispy bacon. We love hanging out with our adult children and grandchildren, spending weekends at the lake, gathering (zooming) with friends, trying new recipes because we both like to cook, eat, and enjoy a nice Tempranillo.
I suppose if there is any good to come of this virus it’s a deeper appreciation for our loved ones, for our health, for our precious lives before this radical virus was inflicted upon our predictable little worlds.
We’ve all had to step up our game. It will take years before we “get back to normal,” and it’s going to take everything we’ve got in the mug so to speak, if there is any chance of recovery.
This is what you might call a big bump, but we have big mugs, fill it up with kindness, get rid of the shit, because we don’t have any toilet paper to waste.
Stay strong, stay put, wash your hands, level the mug! Love to all, C
I’m Living in the Gap, trying to find my way around this new maze, could you put out some cheese?
What have you learned about those you’re sheltering in place with? Oh please add a few explicit observations to my list.
- We’re living letters. Every act of kindness makes our faith a little more legible. Bob Goff
- Remember, the most powerful words in the universe are the words you say to yourself. Marie Forleo
- Because I haven’t yet learned the simplest and most important thing of all: the world is difficult, and we are all breakable. So just be kind.