My Husband is Wearing a Headband?

You might think you have everything figured out, you’re batting a thousand, then life throws you a curveball, and no matter how fast or slow it comes at you, you have to decide in a split second how you’re going to manage the play.

I tend to bunt.

I used to think nothing will ever change. You know what I mean? I’ll never finish grading papers, I’ll never get all the laundry done, the dishes finished, the house in order, lesson plans updated, the food shopping done, a blog written, or respond to a mountain of email piling up in my inbox. Forget about it.

When I finally look up from my predictable, and well-ordered life, I realize nothing is the same.

And I mean nothing.

This is not good for Cheryl Lynn.

I’m what you call slow when it comes to radical change, I feel as if I’ve been thrown in a damn blender, and now I’m macerated by some overzealous osterizer. Don’t judge me, I tend towards the dramatic, but I think I’m not alone here.

I became an elbow bumping, unmanicured, zoom specialist overnight, all the while some sort of aggressive tarter has taken my teeth hostage, I’ve purchased more books then I’ll ever be able to read, and I’m pretty sure the UPS guy thinks I’m a hoarder, but that might be TMI?

My only source of entertainment is Netflix and heavily buttered popcorn?

Speaking of which, have you watched the Netflix original called Ozarks? They’re not paying me to advertise, but the Byrdes (the family that the drama is centered around), live in constant turmoil. It makes my life seem relatively uncomplicated in retrospect. It’s their own damn fault, their ability to make rational decisions was limited by their first decision, which was to launder money for a Mexican cartel. What could go wrong?

Marty, the main character, just keeps going. It doesn’t matter if the cartel is pulling out his toenails one by one, someone is shooting at him, or blowing up his dock. He stays calm and does the next best thing, which is debatable under the most lenient standards, but seems rational to him. Marty Byrde, “sometimes people make decisions, shit happens, and we gotta act accordingly.”

It’s absolute mayhem, which makes for some nail-biting entertainment, but I’m exhausted by the end of each episode. This is how I  feel about my own life, my hair is restive, zoom is exhausting, and my elbows are sore.

See, if I were to star in a sitcom (not that they’re calling), it would be about some sort of turtle, who enjoys remodeling her shell, but only comes out when it’s safe to do so. I’m sure it would be a hit.

I thought the appeal of Ozarks had something to do with watching people make one bad decision after the other, but against all odds, they manage to stay alive. I suppose it made me feel better about my own tawdry mistakes, but now I believe I may be attracted to anxious lifestyles befitting of my own?

Marty Byrde says, I’m just saying that any decision made, big or small, has an impact around the world. Ain’t that the truth. Think about how iPhones and youtube have changed the world. “The bite of the apple was not the original sin. Lucifer’s fall was, says Mason Young. Like the Byrdes, every decision we make is limited by the first one.

That has huge implications but I can’t quite figure it out. Moving along.

On a recent weekend at the lake, I woke up one morning, wandered into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, and wham…curveball.

Me, “What the hell is on your head?’

Larry, “A headband.”

“Is that really necessary?”

“Yes.” (Please don’t expand)

‘Where did you get such a god awful thing?”

“Cut the arm off my t-shirt.”

“It seems a little girlie don’t you think?”

I get the look as Larry unpacks a breakfast burrito from Country Kitchen in the Oaks. This means he went out in public, “haired up like a summer pig” (Ozark slang for being unshaved, hair unruly), and for reasons unknown this makes me giggle.

So this quarantine thing is taking us places we never thought we’d go. I talking uncharted territory, mapless, and no mom to call.

What’s next, hoop earrings? I’m at a loss for words.

The truth is Larry’s hair is unruly, man can not tame what God wishes to be wild, it matches his personality, and his motto on life for that matter. If he insists the sleeve of an old t-shirt helps to keep his unbarbered locks out of his eyes so be it.

I think a man bun is our next pandemic hurdle? Lord have mercy.

It wasn’t until we were having dinner with my brother and sister-in-law (Larry adorned in ragged beard and t-shirt headband) when Rachel observes, “I think the headband thing is sexy.” (that was after a liberal glass of wine so keep that in mind)

If anything will force me to rethink the “girlie” comment is someone putting the word sexy in the same sentence with headband. David Beckham and Sergio Ramos certainly know how to pull one-off? So maybe it’s a matter of perspective, most things are, and all you have to do is see it with new eyes.

Yeah, it’s still girlie.

Anyway, Larry is a type A for those of you who don’t know him well, I’m a C. Bahaha

Makes for interesting quarantine mates, arguments over programming choices abound (Ozarks vs Modern Family), and of course, debates about our next COVID project. See, “I sit on my ass for hours doing nothing (Larryism),” but Larry would pull his own toenails out if forced to do so, and so we have the classic tortoise and hare controversy.

Who wins again?

Snuggled in my favorite chair at the lake, it’s early morning, laptop on my lap. There’s a cup of steaming coffee next to me, I’m lost to the sound of my fingers gently hitting the keys, words emerging on the page, thoughts turning into sentences, total bliss. When I hear, “Cheryl, could you come here?”

“Honey, I’m introverting, go away.”

“I need your help.”

Nevermind the world is coming to an end and I have a self-imposed deadline I going to miss again. Charles Swartz reminds us not to worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia, which comforts me in a weird way, because I know Mic and Lynelle are holding the front line. Good on Ya.

Larry has decided this is going to be a project weekend, I suspect a type A and C conflict in the near future, but what can you do? We scored some shiplap from my niece Tammy and we’ve been deliberating how exactly we want to use it. We finally settled on shiplaping (is that a word) one wall of the lanai room, Larry and his headband are anxious to get started, which means he needs help clearing the room. Why do his projects always take precedence over mine? Back to Byrde, and the consequences of every decision, big, or small.

As I’m carrying out a luggage rack he says, “Are you going to stay in your pajamas all day?” It’s a quarter past 8:00 in the morning, but now that he put the idea in my head, I’m thinking these duds are really comfy. I’m sort of stubborn, part of the C personality, I think we have a plan, folks.

I say, “maybe,” in an effort to appease, because the ingredients of health and long life are great temperance, open-air, easy labor, and little care says Philip Sydney.

We start breaking down the bed, moving side tables out, bedding, mattresses, and lamps. He has arranged his compressor, saws, and nail gun alongside 14 boxes of shiplap, and various tools. This is my queue to exit the scene or get sucked into the vortex of his project. I back away slowly as not to be detected and return to my chair, laptop, and cold coffee.

By noon my husband and headband are covered in sawdust, the wall is two-thirds covered in shiplap, small pieces of boards are scattered everywhere, tools abandoned where they were last used, it looks like a project gone mad. “Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of chaos, and sometimes in the middle of chaos, you find yourself,” says Boonaa Mohammed.

He looks up from his saw, a freshly cut piece of shiplap in his hand, and says, “you’re still in your pajamas?”

“Hey, you’re wearing a headband?”

I get the look.

“I love this shiplap, it’s gorgeous.” (distraction)

“Yeah, it’s coming out nice. We have enough to do another wall, any suggestions.”

I start walking around the house looking for possible locations when something catches my eye. “How about the front bath?”

He has to inspect, measure, consider, “that’ll work. Are you going to get dressed today?”

He’s persistent, I’ll give him that.

Sometimes you just have to ignore the thoughts of others, thank God he found something else to do, I’m back to the pages, and my chair. As Bill Copeland notes, I’m a turtle at ease in my own shell.” Oh, that is so fitting.

By evening we have two new looks going in the lanai room and the front bath. It’s fresh and clean. He did a great job headband and all.

He’ll be stove up tomorrow.

Yes, I’m still in my pajamas, it’s how I bunt.

image_09056145-159b-4983-8bdb-2e1c6570645b.img_2853

I’m living in the Gap, rocking the pajamas, thinking of asking Kelley to make a headband for her Dad.

How’s your quarantine going?

Anecdotes:

  • “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you’ll ever know.” — A.A. Milne
  • “No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.” Taylor Swift
  • “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” Lao Tzu

 

 

 

 

 

25 Comments

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  1. Hilarious!! And you have Connor to thank for the headband made from an old t-shirt sleeve….Looney got a tutorial and all!! Give credit where credit is due!!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. As always I thoroughly enjoyed every word!!! The headband looks so funny on your husband since it’s so obvious he’s type A!!!😭

        I just finished binging on Ozarks!!!! I wanted to see what all of the hype was about. It was a bit slow at first but I was hooked by the end of season 1. I want to believe I would make better choices in their situation but you never know.

        Are you a headband person? Maybe you and hubby could wear matching ones? 😜

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hi Sandra, thank you for always encouraging my writing, it means a lot to me. And yes my husband’s headband has been a source of much laughter and humor but all in good fun.

          The Ozarks was quite popular in our house, I too was not happy with most of their decisions but it made for some good entertainment!

          My hair is out of control, it’s been almost 6 months since I’ve had a cut and yes I believe matching headbands would be an awesome idea!

          Hope all is well with you Sandra, all my best, C

          Like

  2. Well, being a fan of doing things and not being able to do nothing for more than a few minutes .. sharks are the same way, they cannot stop because if they do, they die.

    Headband .. I wish I would need one .. but genetics has take that away from me… cruel but it is what it is.

    But let me get this straight .. when you wanted the room remodeled .. take out built ins and re paint etc .., that was your mission even against my buddy wishes not to .. and now he wants to contribute his artistic (or Autistic) decorating touch .. you do a gap piece.
    #mansdecorationideasmatter

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jim, love your comments! And can I just say both you and Larry are type A’s, not sharks, thank God, but always on the move keeping two houses in good shape. Now about those headbands, some men wear them to keep the sweat out of their eyes when they work out? Hair or no hair. Something to consider!

      On occasion, your “buddy” doesn’t have the clarity I have around home improvements but this time he was spot on. Love the shiplap, he did a damn good joy, for an old guy wearing a headband! Bahaha.

      See you up at the lake! C

      Like

  3. What a joyful post, Cheryl and your hubby rocks the headband look. Thanks for the Ozarks tip. I am new to Netflix and having fun catching up on some series and I loved After Life. Much love flowing to you all. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jane, thank you, and I agree Larry totally rock the headband. I have to give you fair warning, Ozarks is one crazy show, and there is a lot of gratuitous violence! Just sayin. I’ll have to check out After Life, sounds intriguing. My love to you Jane, be well, C

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It gives me so much pleasure to know I put a smile on your face Diane and you even read this to your husband! I love that. Ozark is our pandemic treat! We’re like kids asking each other “how many episodes tonight?” I look forward to returning to some of our favorite restaurants, a movie house, dinner parties with friends. Sheltering in place is getting a little old. By the way, I made those fudge popsicles from your blog with the grandkids, and they were a hit! Be well, all my best, C

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Crystal! I should make that saying into a shirt! I’d wear it all the time, you know how I resent changing outfits! Bahaha. I have Kelley working on a new line of headbands, can’t wait to see what she comes up with! The shiplap rocks! Thanks for joining me in the comments, makes me feel a little less crazy and isolated. Be well Crystal, C

      Like

  4. I enjoyed this blog, although I hardly recognized Looney! The completed shiplap project looks great. We could really use a handyman (with or without a headband) as our list of projects keeps growing.
    I am also a fan of the show Ozark, even though viewers might get the wrong impression about us mid-Missourians. We are not all money laundering, reckless partiers. People from all over the country are flocking to the Lake of the Ozarks during Covid because it actually seems pretty “normal” ( booze, bikinis and boats)
    Miss you all,
    Gail

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Gail, so glad you enjoyed this post, and I agree I hardly recognize Looney! He’s gone native without a barber, I’m not sure he’ll ever go back?

      Wait till you see the lanai room, it’s adorable, and we just hung some gigantic wooden fish with hooks for our guests! He did such a great job. The more I stay home the more thing I seem to notice that needs updating or fixing. Looney wants to go back to the office so he can rest!

      I forgot that the Lake of the Ozarks is in your state! That’s right. Oh my, I’ve seen pictures of the parties, boats, and bikinis flocking to the lake recently. It’s crazy. Do you ever vacation there? When we lived in Kansas we went with some friends and had a great time but I remember there were way too many boats speeding around in close quarters. I’m used to Clearlake, wide open, and never crowded. Lake life!

      Miss you Gail, loved your post on your granddaughters visit, she’s precious. Love, Cheryl

      Like

  5. Hope the giant wooden fish you hung isn’t the famous “Goudreau trash”! That is a funny memory.
    I have heard that the real estate at the Lake of the Ozarks is going through the roof. Apparently people are attracted to big boats speeding around in close quarters. (Or maybe they like going to Church on a boat like in the Ozark show!) It is much too crowed for us and waterskiing is much better at Clearlake.
    On the bright side, no one is wearing masks at the Lake of the Ozarks and the Covid numbers have remained very low.
    Miss you!
    Gail

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s crazy that Ozark real estate is climbing during these crazy times but good to know the COVID numbers are holding! Our friends are devised, some are ready to get out and socialize again, others are continuing to shelter in place. Larry and I have expanded the bubble and even dined out a few times. I ready to return to a few of my favorite routines! And no, I avoided the “Goudreau trash”, you’ll be relieved the fish hooks are new!

      Like

  6. This post has flashes of humor and enjoyed it. My first thought when I saw your husband is that he looked like a Friar (missing the robes). Lucky you have a man ready and willing to interior decorate in tandem with your suggestions. I did check out the Ozark, but not really me. For something different a Canadian series Murdock Mysteries I enjoyed immensely, a foreign series my wife and I binged on before was Grand Hotel. It has english subtitles and I forget they are there quickly and just get into the show, plus I think I am picking up on some spanish. LOL.
    My inspiration today was getting caught in a thunderstorm – it may end up in a post!

    Liked by 1 person

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